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A message from a virtual stranger, days after her son Cole died, led Brandi Couey down a path of healing and finding joy in grief with a community of women who have experienced loss like hers, the Warrior Moms.

Now, Brandi and her cohort hope to help other mothers coping with the unimaginable loss of a child navigate through grief with the Warrior Moms’ new book, “Grieve Like A Mother, Survive Like A Warrior.�

In the book Brandi, along with 13 other grieving mothers, shares how she coped with the loss of her son and gives advice that she wished she had at the time. These women wrote the book to provide others with the guide they wished they had.

“My hope is that if a mother is going through the same thing that we are, that they can pick up that book, thumb through it, and say, I can see myself in this lady,� Brandi said.

BrandiÐÔÊӽ紫ý path to the Warriors

On the last day of January 2021, Cole Couey and his friend Jordan Thomas died in a wreck on their way back to classes at Georgia Southern University.

After ColeÐÔÊӽ紫ý death, Brandi, her husband Brad and daughter Annie had to learn how to navigate life without Cole, whom Brandi described as the embodiment of joy.

As a longtime teacher at Model High School, Brandi and her family had the support and love of the whole Model community behind them, but she didn’t have anyone who truly understood what she was going through. That was until Christine McHenry messaged her on Facebook.

“Hey Brandi, you don’t know me…�

Christine came into BrandiÐÔÊӽ紫ý life through Cole.

When Cole first started at GSU in the summer of 2020, he saw a girl named Emily struggling to bring groceries into her dorm, and he helped her. Cole and Emily quickly became friends after that, and when he died, EmilyÐÔÊӽ紫ý mom, Christine, was quick to reach out to Brandi, knowing the pain of losing a son.

ChristineÐÔÊӽ紫ý son Jamie died after being struck by a vehicle on spring break, and Christine found Warrior Moms, subsequently finding people to help her process her grief.

Warrior Moms, whose tagline is “the club no one wants to be in,� is a group of women who have lost children, joining together to provide friendship and understanding in a time of grief.

When Christine learned of BrandiÐÔÊӽ紫ý loss, she knew that this group could help her, too.

“She invited me to the group and I hesitated a bit,� Brandi said. “She was very persistent and stayed on me. It was one of those perfect storms I needed at the time.�

When Brandi walked into her first meeting with the Warrior Moms, she knew she had found her people. She had attended a grief group in Rome, but it didn’t give her what she needed.

However, in a house in Gwinnett, with a group of women talking and laughing loudly, she found what she needed.

“I felt a calm in me that I had not had since the second of ColeÐÔÊӽ紫ý accident,â€� she said. “It was like a breath of fresh air.â€�

After being a part of Warrior Moms for a while, Brandi realized that the other moms had the same problem she did after Cole died; there weren’t any books or resources that helped her with her type of grief. So the Warrior Moms decided to write that book.

Fourteen women from the support group came together to write, “Grieve Like A Mother, Survive Like A Warrior,� each woman taking a chapter to share their story.

Rebellious grief

BrandiÐÔÊӽ紫ý chapter is named “Rebellious Grief.â€� In it, she shared her struggles after ColeÐÔÊӽ紫ý death as a mother with a daughter to raise while reeling from the loss of her son. She spoke on her need for lists to make it through the day and the unique ways she honored her son.

A message that Brandi wanted to convey to readers in her chapter was that grief does not follow a predetermined path. Greif is messy and confusing and sometimes all-consuming, even years after her loss.

“Sometimes I can tread water well and sometimes I sink to the bottom and I have to power my way up,� Brandi said. “If one mom picks it up and flips to my one chapter and reads one sentence and it helps them get through the next day, then I fulfilled my purpose.�

In her chapter, Brandi highlights he truth that she learned the hard way, grief and joy can exist together and should coexist.

You will never get over grief, she shared, but you can find the light in it.

“Joy is sometimes me crying, sometimes joy is me watching a wedding, you know, or a baby being born,� Brandi said. “I can still find that joy and still have that grief at the same time.�

Finding joy in life is exactly what Cole would have wanted, Brandi said. She and everyone he loved find that joy by taking his ashes on adventures with them, celebrating life and remembering the impact he had on their lives.

“He lived so much life,� Brandi said. “He lived life so fully, and I can’t imagine myself not doing that,� Brandi said.

“Grieve Like A Mother, Survive Like A Warrior� comes out Aug. 5, but is available for preorder now on Amazon and at Barnes & Noble.